The Goodbye Kiss
by Lorna Badeau
Summary: Falya was thrust into a marriage, but loves another. She goes through a tumult of emotions, and on her journey to find the man she loves, will she make the right choice? Or be left to be unhappy forever?
1. Falya's Greif

The moment I heard the news I was livid. An arranged marriage? Not that I was surprised, but now? The average date in my village was about 15 anyways, so technically I am overdue by a year. I ran home, my bare feet getting muddier as I ran, and mud flecked on the beck of my calves. Once I got home, I ran in, and I slammed the door, some plaster falling from the ceiling.

"Why did no one tell me?" I bellowed, not caring that everyone thought yelling was un-lady like. My mother sent me a cold look, and turning back to the pots the were simmering, she said, after brushing off some plaster that sprinkled on to her,

"He's a very nice boy you know. About 17 years old, like you."

"I am 16, mother."

"Yes, I know." I sighed. After having five children I guess you start to forget how old the individuals are. She doesn't even know how old she is; although she tells everyone that she is 30. She's been saying that since she's had me.

I sighed again, and went to my room, that was also shared by my older and younger sister. My older sister, Katerine, was already married, but her husband was away on a merchant trip, and she was going to stay with us until then, but my younger sister, Galatea, had no intentions of getting married. I told her again and again that she would be branded, and no one would want her anyways, if she married too old, but she laughed at me, and would walk away.

Katerine was sitting on her bed, folding sheets and her clothes.

"Katerine? Are you leaving soon?" I asked, both hopefully and also sad. I talked to her about everything; from important news to trifle things, and soon she was going to the next village, and I would see her very rarely. She turned to me sadly.

"Yes, I will. But we will see each other. It's not like I am going so far away." She shrugged sadly, and tears welled up in my eyes.

"But Viktor..."

"Viktor is not a bad person just because he has a butchery." She said, a glimmer of amusement entering her eyes.

"I never said he was a bad person Katerine. He was just odd...and isn't he a bit old?"

"22 is not old Falya. He is only five years older than me, it is hardly a difference."

I shrugged. To me five years apart was a world of differences.

"Well then Katy, I'll leave you to packing."

"Where are you going? Surely Maman wants you at home to help."

"I do not feel like helping today. And plus, it is not even dark yet, maybe I can fetch water."

"From the river that is less than 30 feet away from our house?"

"Yes. You never know when we may need water." I said, a smile playing on my lips. She loved to tease me about little quirks I had; I always needed water near me. I ran out, and she acknowledged my leaving with a nod. I liked the feel of the wind through my hair, but alas, the feeling was over in a few seconds, seeing as the river was right in back of their house. I grabbed one of the jars that were always by the water, brushed off the dirt, and drew water into it. I sloshed a little water around, but spilled most of it back into the water. I drew some more in, and walked quickly back to the house.

"Maman! Please...five more minutes...just five more..." and I fell back asleep. I couldn't stay awake, because I kept waking up last night from a recurring dream. In the dream it was my wedding day, and I was getting married. But this is the part that kept changing. I was either getting married to a handsome young man, who somehow seems oh so very boring and dull, or I was getting married to a hideous boy, but who was entertaining and funny. I preyed to god that it was neither, when I woke up.

But my mother shook me, and grumbling, I rose from the bed, shivering from the cold. I got used to it, but it was the kind of cold that persists, even in the summer, when the blanket no longer touches your body and you shiver. I looked around, and my eyes widening I took in the appearance of the room. It looked emptier, as if there was something missing, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I rubbed my eyes, and I turned around, noticing that Galatea was making her bed, and next to her Katerine's bed was already made. Then unwanted tears sprung in my eyes.

_She could not have left already!_ My head screamed at me. I knew that she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, but in my heart I knew it was so. She _had_ gone without saying goodbye. I sat at the edge of my bed and sighed; I would not cry. Furiously, I wiped the tears from my eyes and splashed water on my face. But it was then, after I washed the tears away, that they came back with full force. I had washed my face with water I had gotten last night, and it was water that Katerine has scorned, and laughed at.

I started to laugh. Grinning madly, I picked up the water jug and with a burst of energy, I threw it to the ground, yelling the cursed name of Viktor. The water splashed, and the shards of the ceramic jug flew everywhere; one even cutting my cheek, but I did not feel the pain. I tasted the blood that now streamed down my face, and Galatea screamed and called for mother. I continued to yell, now adding profanities, causing Galatea to gasp from the doorway.

"Maman! She has gone mad!" I heard scrambling from down the hall. Galatea stood in the doorway, keeping her brown eyes on me, while I continued to yell Viktor's name, and occasionally she looked down the hall for a sign of mother.

My yells subdued, but only by a little. You could probably hear me a few houses down, and I suppose that was true, because by the window there was a gathering of those nosy mothers from down the street. I carelessly wiped some blood off of my cheek, and had now switched to screaming Katerine's name.

"Falya! Falya, stop!" my mother yelled, running over, still in her nightgown. I laughed at her expense. She walked over and slapped me so hard, I thought that all light had disappeared from the earth, and I fell, my cheek still bleeding a small stream by my bed.


	2. A New Aquaintdance

**A/N: I hope you guys liked my first chapter, I meant to add the rest, but my mom made me get off the comp, so I didn't. But I have most of it up and written, ready to be posted. Enjoy! (And please review!) Lorna**

I woke up again, and I raised my hand to tenderly touch my cheek; the cut had scabbed over, and it did not feel pretty. My feet felt cold, and I tried to pull the blanket over them, but I noticed I was not near my bed at all. I was not even in the house. I was at the river.

My feet were dangling in the frigid water, and I wondered in what fervor I had walked here in. Suddenly, I heard a crinkling in the bush next to me, and Galatea warily walked over. She looked at my waking form with narrowed eyes, and I in turn narrowed my eyes at her.

"You're not leaving too, are you?" Calmly, I asked her, closing my eyes, not knowing what I would do if she said that she would.

"No. I'm not. This is a perfectly fine reason to _not_ get married. Your relatives go insane." She didn't want to get married, and the spite that she spoke the words with showed.

"What would you do if you don't get married?" I asked her, pulling my feet to myself, and out of the water. If my feet could talk, they'd be singing from the warmth of the air.

"I would go to school and then move to the city," she said. I opened my eyes fast. I hadn't realized that they were closed. "I will get a fine job, and settle down. There is no rush to get married." I wasn't looking in her direction, but I could hear her smiling through her words. I raised my eyes to the heavens and shook my head.

"_Mon dieu_, Gala, you will be shunned from society. No one will marry you." I said with a sigh.

"But does no one understand? I don't want to get married! My plan is not to follow societies rules!" she said, and with a huff, rose and ran through the bushes. The bushes rustled, and eventually ceased to make noise, and I relished the quiet. I did not wish to speak, and since yesterday, or at least I think it was yesterday, my voice was fading. I had overused it with my relentless yelling. And talking with Galatea was wearing it out even more. I closed my eyes again, and put my warm feet back in the water.

I liked it cold better.

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My feet were tinged blue, and walking back into the house hurt my feet. I motioned to my mother that I could help with the food, but she sent me a nasty glare, as if I were something on the downside of her shoe. The neighbors were talking about me, I knew it, and my mother didn't like to be on the scum of gossip; she preferred to be the one talking. Rolling my eyes, I walked back into my room, grabbing the broom on the way out of the kitchen. I supposed I could help by sweeping.

My sister was sitting on her bed, fixing the hem of her skirt that had ripped. She saw me walk into the room with the broom, and averted her eyes from me, to the broom, and to the door. I knew what she thought.

"I'm not going to hit you with the broom Gala. I want to sweep," I motioned sweeping, "the room." I pointed to the room. I smiled to her carefully. We were on shaky terms, not trusting one another as well as sisters should. I started to sweep, my back to Galatea, and I could feel her eyes burning a hole into my back, like at any moment I would turn around and beat within an inch of her life. But I didn't. Obviously.

I smiled, thinking how ridiculous all this was. I was just emotionally unstable, it was true. If she did instigate anything, this broom, this innocent little honey colored broom, would make everything much worse. But I wouldn't. My knuckles turned a pasty yellow-white; I was gripping the broom hard, seeing as my thoughts were giving my head ideas. I was not about to go mad again, I told my self, I was not going to lose all abandon to my raging feelings. I heard the bedsprings creaking, and Galatea rose, and scampered out of the room, like a dog with its tail between its legs. How shameful.

I laughed to myself, knowing that people thought I was most likely a mad person. The neighbors thought they 'knew' it, seeing my rage firsthand through the window, and everyone else...well, they could just go to hell.

I grabbed a new jug; god knows why my mother put another one in my room. And it sure as heck was not on Galatea's side of the room. I wanted water. Now. So I started heading over to the stream, I needed water for my parched throat; talking to Galatea had hurt it, and it burned. I looked down at my feet as I walked through the house, I didn't want anyone to think that I was going to smash it on their head. Soon, after what felt like time plus eternity, I reached the river, and scooped up water in the jug. I put it down when I heard music from nearby.

Pinpointing it was hard; I didn't know where it was coming from, and it could have easily have been coming from the forest nearby, or down by one of the houses in the village. I got up and in my head I recognized the tune very vaguely. I hummed it, because I couldn't sing, and I started to dance a waltzy kind of dance. I wasn't sure what the song was exactly; maybe it was a waltz, or it could have been a folk dance. Either way, I stood up and started to dance with an invisible partner, and the words flew through my head, slipping over one another and dancing with the music, intertwining, and forming a full song through my head.

I closed my eyes, losing myself in this solitary dance, and I pretended that I had on a fine gown, and perfectly made up face and hair.

Times could be so cruel.

Still humming to myself, I grabbed a bit of my skirt, and I twirled myself around, feeling like I was in one of those fabled ballrooms in the city. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I spun around, a rosy blush creeped up my cheeks. The music was still playing, but it was distinctly faded, thanks to the blood pounding through my ears.

"If you want to dance, please don't dance alone. It hurts my eyes to see such pretty ladies dancing alone." I blanched. This young, _very_ handsome man said to me. My mouth went dry, and I nodded, not being able to speak anyways. I licked my parched lips, and motioned for him to wait a moment; I needed to drink some water. He smiled, and chuckled to himself. Mt blush was still not going away, and I started to get a silly, giddy like kind of smile on my face.

After drinking the cool, refreshing water, I turned back towards him, and noted that a different song has started to come on, and it was one that I had never heard of. Wonderful. Not only did I not know the words, I didn't even know how to dance to it. He held out his hand and I took it. I looked up at his face, and I noted that he was at least a head taller than me, which was good.

He started to do the steps, and I found that it was easy to learn. I just mirrored his steps, but that took looking down much of the time, and I was staring at our feet. Finally, after learning the steps, I looked up, and my blush came back. He was looking at me intently, and he had a smile playing on his lips. I smiled back, but I couldn't control it, and I had to look away. He had dark skin, like golden honey; perhaps it was from working outside. Looking back up though, I saw he had amazing blue eyes. They were piercing, and an almost gray that bordered on green. He had dark eyebrows, not thick, but not thin, and strong enough to capture his expressions and define his eyes with shadow, like my grandmother would say. He had dark, long hair that just went down to his neck in the back and in the front just barely brushed over his eyes. I found myself drawn to his eyes, and it took much will to stare too much; I had to periodically look away from him.

I think he noticed.


	3. Acusations

**A/N: Thank you, Naku111 for reviewing. Although I hoped I would get more reviews. ANYways, cant get too hopefull. I know, it's a bit weird that she randomly meets this guy, and they talk. But honestly, it's a story, and I don't care if that shouldn't happen. And in my last chapter name, how I called it a new Aquaint---- D, ----ance, I was wondering if anyone would notice. Cause I thought it was clever...but anywhoo.**

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"You pick up dancing fast" he commented, breaking me out of my thoughts. I shrugged.

"Can you talk? Or are you like a mime?" I nodded to the first question, but my indignant eyes widened at the thought of me being a mime. He laughed; a deep, pleasant, reassuring sound and I sighed.

I pulled my hand from his, ignoring how his eyes got a glimmer of disappointment, and pointed to my throat and grimaced.

"Oh...you lost your voice." He said, smiling at my frantic nodding, "I hope you find it again, wouldn't want such a pretty girl to have lost a voice for good." I blushed again. My mother said I was too humble to accept complements, and I suppose it was true. I rolled my eyes at him. He shrugged.

"What can I say, it's true." I made a sound like a hmmph.

After a while the music faded, and I willed it to stay, but alas, since it was growing darker I suppose they had to go.

"Where do you live?" he asked. I pointed with my finger towards my house, which was a bit away. "I live near this village too. Not quite in it, but not in another one. We are in between. Do you have any siblings?" I nodded sardonically, and with my fingers showed him the number four.

"Any sisters as pretty as you?" he asked with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. Up to this point, I had not once wondered why he was even talking to me, and why I did not run away. But I took another look at his face, and I only saw kindness in his eyes, and not an ounce of mean. His laugh reverberated around the clearing, and I closed my eyes, trying to remember the sound of it.

It was a wonderful sound.

I heard my mother calling my name, and I groaned inwardly. He looked at me.

"Your name, its Falya?" he said smiling, "It is very pretty. My name is Kaspar." I smiled, and then set my worried eyes towards home and shrugged. "I know, you need to go home," he said frowning, "Well, I hope I see you soon." I nodded in consent; I couldn't wait, and if no one found out, then it would be even better.

Secrets were better left untold.

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I ran home, and my mother, being the worrisome thing she is, demanded where I had been all afternoon.

"Out."

"Out where?"

"By the river, getting water." My throat was killing me, and it pained me to talk as it was, but if I stopped then I would be in more trouble.

"Really. Well. It took you four hours?"

"I stopped by my friends' house."

"Which friend?" At this point I was starting to get very frustrated, but I also felt quite bad, lying to her about such a thing.

"Anelise"

"Really. So if I called her over, she would confirm that you two had been together today?"

"Yes. She would, and if she didn't, then she is a fool." I felt bad calling my friend a fool, because in reality, she shouldn't have been brought into this at all.

"Alright then, I will."

"Oh maman, you wish to ask Anelise about something we both know is true?"

"Yes, because for some reason, I do not believe you." She got Galatea to run over all the way across the village and to Anelise's house and brought Anelise here. It was a horrible wait, we both did not speak, and I did not look at my mother, for fear that I would give it away. I went and got Galatea's hem that she was fixing, and started to work on it for her. I made a couple mistakes, and the hem was a bit crooked. I hoped that Galatea wouldn't notice. Soon, my mother and I heard Galatea and Anelise panting and running up the stairs. They opened the front door and they came walking in to the kitchen area with some more composed dignity.

"Good afternoon Anelise, I know you are probably wondering why I called you over here in such a short notice."

"Yes, I am ma'am." Anelise politely spoke back to my mother. There was a glint in her eyes, and I guessed that she did obviously not want to be here.

"Well, Falya said that she was with you today, but I do not know whether to believe her or not. She does not lie to me, but I never know. She could have been doing the good Lord knows what, and I would not know." I was standing slightly behind my mother, and with my eyes I pleaded with Anelise that she would not give me away.

"Ma'am, I can assure you that Falya was indeed with me today. She even brought some water to my house, and I know she brought some over here too." She raised one eyebrow testily, as if to urge my mother to go on with her accusation. I tried to bite back a laugh that was threatening out of my mouth, and Anelise had a cheeky smile. I felt a little bad for Galatea though; she was looking back and forth between us like we had a giant secret, which we didn't. Well not really.

"Well then, Anelise, I am sorry that I bothered you for this. And thank you." My mother said with a polite, but curt nod. I noticed that my mother could be very cold towards people that she didn't particularly like. I guess she didn't like Anelise that much.

I was lucky that I was off the hook, but I know that my mother did not trust me in the least, and I would have to be more careful and craft up better lies to tell her. Not that I was planning to, but it would be better to be safe. I didn't even know if I would see Kaspar again, and who knows, I may have been asleep this whole time and this could all be a dream. I pinched myself a few times, and then smiled to see it was not a dream. That would have been very disappointing.

"Maman, I am going to bed." I told her, walking out of the room.

"Well don't wake up too late, I need to go visit Katerine at her new home, and I need you to be awake when I leave. Galatea, you can sleep if you like." She kept talking, but I walked out after she started talking to Galatea. I washed my face and then I fell right asleep, not even changing my clothes.

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**Reviewwww!!makes puppy dog eyes**


	4. Untold Secrets

**A/N: Ok, I didn't mean to say without changing her clothes. Well, I did, but to show she was that exhausted or whatever. I'm hoping you like it so far, and for you silent readers out there, just review even saying 'good job' or something. Then I know people are reading it, and this story is not scum. makes hopeful face**

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My dreams were frantic and rushed. It went through many different scene's, mostly of me running in a field. It was weird, I woke up in a cold sweat even though it was bright and sunny in the dream. I wonder what I was running from then. Again, I woke up, barely rested and cranky. I splashed water on my face and helped my mother get ready. I sent envious glances towards my sister, and even though she couldn't see it, I hoped she could feel it.

"Maman, will Viktor be there?"

"Why wouldn't he be? They are married."

"No, I mean _there_ there. Like, in the house kind of there. And how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know if he will be there, and nor do I care all that much. I will be home by tomorrow night. And don't worry, your father will be home by nightfall today. Finally." I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't like him not at home, and it wasn't because I was scared or anything, I just liked knowing that he was here. But it didn't really matter because Sebastian, my older brother, was right next door. Sebastian was a fine person, and a quite successful farmer, even though we advised him against it. He however, had a secondary job, which was smart. He had gone to school, and he decided to become a doctor. He was not by any means that greatest, or smartest, or even the most talented, but he was one, and that mattered.

After she left, and it took a reasonable amount of time, I got dressed and ready for the day. I couldn't wait, and I left a note for Galatea, hoping that she would see it and not worry. I practically ran, feeling the wind blow through my hair; I didn't care if it was not tied back, I liked it down better. I could feel the early morning sun beating down on my back weakly; it was right in the middle of the Autumn season, and already the leaves were browning and falling.

I jumped over a puddle, and I had a stitch in my side. I clutched my side, wheezing and panting. It must have rained overnight, because there were quite a few of these puddles, and my feet were becoming sore from jumping and landing oddly, not to mention very, very wet. When I finally ran up to the part of the river that I had met Kaspar, I was disappointed to see that he wasn't there. Of course, my expectations shouldn't have been so high for a stranger.

I remembered that I could speak. Well, that was stupid, of _course_ I could speak, but my voice was back, miraculously, even though it was still a bit shaky. Music started to play again, and I wonderful feeling went through my body.

"_Ahem_" I heard a voice behind me, and I spun around, not unlike last night. The music was still loud, but I shunted it aside so I could focus on the boy in front of me.

"I'm back." I said with a tiny voice.

"I see that. You are back for dance lessons?" He asked. He had a slight accent, and I laughed.

"No, no. Not for dancing, but to talk. I would like to talk to you." He said nothing, but smiled kindly, and a little sadly.

"Ok," he said. "What would you like to know?"

"How long have you lived here?"

"Far too long." I was puzzled at his answer, but I shrugged it off.

"How old are you?" I suddenly started to feel quite rude asking him all these questions. He paused before answering.

"I am 18 years old." He said, his voice catching, and he shook his head, as if ridding himself of a bad memory. I smiled to myself, trying to forget his grimace and melancholy look. 18 years old. He was two years older than me, and I was already planning my future, which was wrong, I know, because I barely knew anything about him other than his age and name.

"Tell me a little about you, Falya."

"I myself am 16 years old," I smiled at how his eyes widened, and I wondered why they did. "I have an older brother, and three sisters. One is married, one is getting married, and one does not _want_ to get married. And then there is me, engaged to someone, and I do not even know who." He laughed, a little uneasily, but it was a laugh, and I rejoiced in the sound.

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We talked for a while, and I learned that he had no mother; she had died a _while_ ago, apparently, he wasn't saying how long, and I didn't want to pester him. He got really quiet then, and I changed the subject, and we got onto what he did for a living. He was a doctor, and I of course informed him that my brother was one too, and that maybe they could meet each other some day. Up to that point, I had never seen him that sad or his eyes so expressionless. It was as if he had just lost _all_ hope in life, and was ready to throw in the rag. I also asked him if he had ever been outside of the village, or if he had gone very far in travels. He smiled ruefully, and grinned a malicious grin, and I was wondering if I was safe or not. I looked around, and noticed that my proximity to my brother's house was not too close, and I began to fidget with my fingers.

"I have traveled far. So very far, and it was cold. I thought I would never get out, but instead I came here. And here to stay, it seems." He said, and he spat on the ground, as if it were to blame for his misfortune. He stared at the ground, and while I had a mental fight with myself, and decided to not ask him anymore questions, before I became to scared and would do something I would regret.

The fire left his eyes, and after a not totally comfortable silence, in which I had inched away from him ever so slightly, I could hear him breathing again, but with a less renewed vigor. I looked up to look in his amazingly blue eyes, yet, when I did, he did not meet my gaze, even though I knew he had been gazing at me not a moment before. I wished I hadn't asked him questions, any of them at all, for they seemed to grieve him terribly, and I was ashamed of doing so.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. I hadn't even meant to.

"For what?" he replied, a little confusion shown on his face.

"For vexing you with the questions. I hadn't meant to, honest; I was just curious." I said, embarrassment creeping up with a flush onto my face.

"You? Vex me? No, you did not, not with those questions. I am more surprised that you did not ask me of whether-" and he shut his mouth promptly at that, and resumed a pleasant smile. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what he could have meant.

"And if I had asked, what you had meant of course, would you have answered it?" he merely smiled.

"You would never ask. You would never know the question."

"Never?"

"Never." He uttered quietly

"Are you ever getting married?" I asked, out of the blue, but directly after his statement of never.

"It is possible."

"Of course it is possible silly," I countered, "Why ever wouldn't it be?" I said with a playful grin, batting him on the arm.

"Oh, this and that," he evaded, keeping from me something I greatly wished to know.

"Well, _I_ am. And I do not want to. It coincides that it is arranged as well, and I cannot meet him until then." I fanned angrily, feeling a hot rush flooding my cheeks.

"That's a pity then." He said quietly. "Would you love him, if ever, had you not liked him on the sight?"

"It is possible." I said, throwing his words back, "But most likely not, well, I suppose..." I shrugged, I didn't even know the answer to my own heart.

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As it got dark, I reluctantly looked back in the direction of home, and I guessed it was around dinner time. I saw Galatea walking with Sebastian and talking animatedly, using her long arms to accentuate her point. He was just nodding, and looking around; he, I'm pretty sure, was looking for me, and Galatea was talking about something in a book that she read. The music was starting to fade, and as I started to realize that I wanted to go home. I don't know why though, because I liked Kaspar very much, and in my heart I wished to stay. But I gave away to my whims, and I bid him goodbye 'til another day. Parting was awkwards though, we both stood there, not knowing what to say or do, until I blurted

"Well then, maybe tomorrow?"

"Er, yes. I think that would suffice." And we stood there again, until he reached out a shaking hand, and I shook it, but we both felt that it was a stiff act.

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**A/N: Wowee this is one of my longer chappies. Actually though, I just section it off, and it doesn't really have chapters, which is ridicoulous. Review!**


	5. Ruffled the Wrong way

**A/N: This chapter is going to be a little short. Thank you for reviewing Unlikely Rose, that made me happy!**

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I ran home, and in the back of my mind, I noticed that the music had stopped. Inwardly I wondered, very vaguely why it had; it wasn't even dark yet, not even five o'clock, and then I felt the wind unnaturally hitting my hair, and the ground rose up to kiss my face with a painful jolt. And I hurt. I hurt everywhere. My nose hurt, my face, and my arm were it was twisted away from my body. I tried o get up, but all I occurred was a slight scream, loud enough to awaken my brothers wife, from her already torturous sleep. I flashed in and out of darkness, and each time a new view hit my eyes.

First was the sound of blurred yells, and feet right by my face. Then it was a groggy, pregnant woman going, "It's Falya! Sebastian, its Falya!" After yet, it was my brother peering down, looking into my face with scared, brown eyes. And lastly, right before slipping away completely, was the view, slung gingerly over my father's shoulders, and I could see the ground. But then, while everything was a blurry haze, in a clear bout, I looked up, raising my head ever so gingerly, I saw Kaspar, standing there. He smiled, my heart filled, and blackness overwhelmed me.

I hadn't noticed then, how the music had started, and sated my heart.

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When I woke up, I saw Galatea fussing and furiously unsewing the hem of her skirt, or dress, whatever it was. I chuckled, and she looked over with a snarl on her pretty little face.

"Some one tried fixing this and made a mess of it." She said, clearly ruffled the wrong way this morning.

"Oh, that's sad," I said with a monotone voice, "What day is it?"

"You've been asleep," she counted on her fingers, "About three days." She said finally.

"Really?" that was a shocker, "It only felt like a couple hours."

"Well not to me. I've been sitting nursemaid for you for the past couple days, and _trust me_, it is not fun."

"Well excuse me if the little princess has to do some real work around here," I said, my voice rising, and Galatea's eyes glinted with anger but now there was also fear in them too. "And move her butt around. And here I was thinking that you were voluntarily helping me out of love." She looked at me with an air of incredulity.

"Really?" she said quietly, "Really?" a little louder, "Out of love. Hm..." she a had an angry look of mock shock, "No. Not at all. Out of love," she snorted, "Out of love. You know, at this point you could be person I love the least." She got up, threw the hem she was fixing on the ground, and ran out; hot angry tears streaming down her face. I sat back on the bed, clenching and relaxing my fingers. It did relieve any stress at all, but honestly, it diverted my mind from it. You would be surprised how wondering on why clenching fingers can make you forget what you were stress about. That's until the problem comes back.

"I forgot my hemming here." She mumbled and then shuffled out of the room. She had acquired her state of humility, and the flush of faint red on her pale cheeks showed that she was coming down from her angry state.

Sebastian, my brother, walked into the room, and with an ashamed face apologized.

"I'm sorry." I guess my face was blank, so he continued, "Gala, I suppose, is still upset that I bade her to not go to class for three days."

"Oh-" I started to say, but Sebastian cut me off, holding his hand up.

"Apparently, there was this important assessment that she had to take, but since she was watching you, she had to miss it. And since the assessment is taken just once a year, she has to wait now." He said all of this looking at the ground, and playing with the cuff of his sleeve. He was blaming it on himself again, and then I felt bad.

"No, it's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going, and I suppose I had to be punished for it. I'll talk to Galatea; it is more or less my fault anyways." He nodded, and he walked out, raising his head a little. All the talking did no good to my voice, which hadn't healed right yet, and it was starting to fade. And sitting up in bed had drained my energy so much, that when I put my head back to rest on the pillow, it was just a matter of moments that I fell asleep again.

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**A/N: Ok, I had to get that part out of my system. I will post the next chapter today. Like in half an hour, so YAY!**


	6. Dreaming

**A/N: Gosh, this chappie is short too. But I wanted to update, and I felt that this would be a good place to stop. It's a bit sad, but not tear jerky at all. Well, not for me. Enjoy.**

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"Kaspar? Where are you?" I yelped, albeit softly. The forest was dark, and shadows flitted everywhere, but I knew one of them was his, but why, why was he not showing himself to me.

"Come find me, please. I look for you, I call you in my dreams, yet this is the first time you come."

"But I cannot see you!" I pleaded with him, his voice ringing in my ears. I spun around in the clearing, faintly aware of the music playing.

"I am here. Look harder, you will find me." I grew exasperated of his riddles, but I yearned to see his face, to speak to him. I heard footsteps, yet I was not totally afraid; they sounded familiar, and I turned around in their direction, hoping to glimpse even a corner of his jacket. Instead I got something better.

He laughed at me.

"You found me. But why did it take you so long?"

"I do not know." I replied faintly, weakly. My knees were about to give away. He grasped me by the arms, but gently, and moved us to a rock by a stream that I hadn't noticed before. We sat by it silently, never saying a word, and tread our feet in it. I grew thirsty, and bent down to hold water in my hands. What I saw made me gasp aloud.

The water was icy cold, and though you may think I would have felt it with my feet it wasn't so; the water was warm at my feet, but to my hands it was frigid. It was a cool blue color, but the water did the most marvelous thing. It was clear as the air in front of me, but at the same time was as reflective as a mirror. In it I could see my hazel eyes, framed my thick lashes and tapering eyebrows. My honey colored hair formed ringlets around my face, but were windswept and a little messy, with fly-a-ways stringing in every direction, as curly hair tends to do. I tugged on a strand, and tucked it back behind my ear.

"You look fine." He said quietly, uttering the first words since we found each other in the forest. I looked at him skeptically. Honestly, when I look this muddled, who could say that. But my stomach tingled, because he had, and the state of euphoria he sent me into was so large I couldn't contain it all in my heart.

"No I don't," Came out, instead of a thank you. I groaned, not meaning to say that, "But thanks anyways." I said, smiling that I got it out. The piece of hair had fallen out of place again, due to the shaking of my hair after he implied that I looked pretty. He reached out his hand and put it back, only to do it again because it wouldn't stay. I rolled my eyes; it was a fruitless effort, and wouldn't stay in.

"Goodbye," he whispered sadly.

I became consciously aware of how close that act had brought him to me, and had I wanted to, I could tell you exactly how many little dark lines were in his beautiful eyes. But I won't, because I would never find out. The minute his soft lips touched mine I opened my eyes to the scene of my room, lit up with bright, cheery sunlight that seemed to mock me. In my heart was a feeling of such loneliness, and grief, that a few fat tears couldn't help but make their way down my freckled face.

It had been a dream.

But it spoke the truth. The inevitable truth.

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**A/N: This was a bit sad. But also short. Thank you again, Unlikely Rose, for reviewing. Next chappie coming soon. Right after this evil pimple on my chin goes away. It really is not fair. But thank the lord fro cover-up! **


	7. Is it really a blissful wedding?

**A/N: I have updated! Whoot! I like this chapter a lot. I hope you guys like it! This devious little plot bunny came to me during English class, when we were talking about fate and Oedipus Rex. But it stinks because when she was introducing the story, I figured out the whole plot of Oedipus Rex, and the excitement of reading that is gone. But not really. On a happier note, my pimple is gone! Not that you guys care about my everyday life. Enjoy!**

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I ran outside the moment I had eaten and bathed. I went by the stream, waiting for Kaspar to come and meet me, like he always did. But, after an hour I assumed he would not come. I sat by a rock near the stream that looked so much like the one in my dream, that I started to cry, and the tears didn't stop. They streamed down my face with a strong determination, and seemed like they would never cease to come. But they did.

They stopped, though, only because I had run out of tears to shed, not because I gave up on him. I would never give up, and I swore then and there to find him again.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the quickly fading dream. We had been in a forest, and I looked to the one on my right. I thought, maybe, just maybe, he could be in there, looking for me like I was looking for him out here. I ran.

Faster than the wind, or so it felt, my hair whipping around my face, the ringlets and strand covering my eyes from time to time. But I didn't let that stop me. It was darker than I remembered in my dream, and also quieter. There were no whisperings around, not even a sound, or moving shadows. It was deadly quiet, but I wasn't afraid. It put me at a sense of ease, and I had never felt calmer. I wondered why I had never been here before, and why it put me at peace.

"Kaspar?" I whispered loudly. "Are you here? Are you looking for me too?" I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. It would be two weeks before I went to see my betrothed for the first time. And that would be at my wedding. I would rue the day that came. I fell down upon my knees, and sank my head into the ground, tears cascading down, smelling the dirt, and wishing, more than anything, to hear his laughter.

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I don't know how quickly those two weeks went by, but it was in a blur, filled with preparation, and dress making, and who knows what else. All I knew was that I wanted Kaspar, and nothing anyone could do would get me out of this daze. I walked around, a glum look in my face, or so my mother would say. Sebastian would just come in and shake his and sigh, and Galatea was staying out of my way like she always did. I thought the two weeks would never end, and I would be in my world of isolation forever, but at the same time, I wanted it to be over, and get on with my life.

We gathered our family, not a very big band, just Gala, Sebastian, mother and father, and Sebastian's wife. We would be picking up Katerine and Viktor on the way. It would take us about two hours to get to the church, and then after that it would be one of those extravagant parties. I hoped my husband-to-be, they hadn't even bothered to tell me his name, was bringing people, because otherwise it would be a quite boring wedding.

The ride there was dull an uneventful. Unless you would count eventful something along the lines of Galatea falling off of the wagon. But we stopped and got her back on, only her hair was mussed up, and she was a little grumpy for the rest of the ride. But I sat in silence, while everyone celebrated and joked, wallowing in my loneliness.

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Standing in front of the mirror I looked at myself and sighed. The dress was fabulous, yes. My hair looked wonderful, of course. But I felt, empty. Something was lacking, and I knew what it was, what was eating away inside of me.

Kaspar.

Galatea ran into the room, holding the door like it was her last link to life.

"Falya. Wedding...ready." And she ran out, but not before looking at her hair in the mirror, and putting the loose strands in her extravagant bun.

She sent a look towards me, and I didn't know if it was pity, or envy. I shrugged, and butterflies started in my stomach. Hey, it was a wedding, and _my_ wedding to be exact, and I had a right to be nervous. I looked at my dress, a pale crème, almost white but not quite, with little heeled slippers. My hair was down, the curls tumbling down my back. I sighed a sigh of finality and opened the door, half expecting to see Galatea there and scare me. But no one was there, and I kept walking down the aisle, only once looking up to meet the proud eyes of my parents, and Katerine, who gave me the most comforting look that she could have ever managed.

The altar never seemed to arrive, and when it did, I did not dare chance a glance to my new husband. We stood there for an hour, I do not kid you, and my mind started to wander, not focusing on the words that the priest uttered. I thought back to streams, forests, water, and to the day where I found out I would be here, and the day I met him. Met Kaspar.

"Do you, sir, take this woman, to be your wedded wife?" the priest said, cutting into my thoughts.

"Yes, I do." His voice was kind, I took that as a good sign, but it shot a pang through my heart. I could feel now, the whole of the people gathered in the room staring at me, burning a hole through my beautiful dress. The priest turned his head.

"Do you, madam, take this man, to be your wedded husband?" I paused. I had to say yes, but in my heart I didn't want to. Not at all.

"...I do." I said, with a finality that shook my to the core of my heart.

"Well then," the priest said cheerily, and I could hear the mothers crying. I rolled my eyes. "You may now kiss the bride." I turned to the man, and it took all will power to not gasp aloud.

"_Kaspar?_

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**A/N: Review! )**


	8. Kiss the Bride

**A/N: You guys are going to think I am evil. Quite evil. But this is more of a filler chapter, and next chapter may clear some things up. Tegatus is a name from a book, Wormwood. I didn't make it up. Enjoy! And before I forget, thank you Unlikely Rose for reviewing. They brighten my day.**

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The man smiled mischievously, arching one eyebrow.

"Nay, I am not Kaspar." He said tentatively; a bride and groom aren't supposed to know each other. But on a closer look, I saw it wasn't Kaspar at all. I sighed.

"Well, then damn." I whispered. We walked down the aisle, and to Katerine I rolled my eyes at the sight of mother crying. I looked down to refrain from laughing aloud, and I noticed my husband, I still didn't know his name, was looking at me with an amused expression. I think I was going to like him.

After taking a few breaths I looked up at him. He had a kind face, his hands were soft, and I supposed he did not work outside too much. He had brown eyes, I sighed at that, but they were deep and beautiful, with flecks of hazel in them. He had a strong nose, narrow, but not pointy. It was gentle, and the only word I could use to describe it was maybe Greek god-like. Inwardly I laughed at that, only having heard stories of Apollo and Zeus, and who knows what other characters. He had slight freckles on his pale skin, and lips that were slightly pouty. He had red hair, which was rare in these parts, but very good looking on him.

The aisle seemed to never end, but when it did it was a relief. We stepped out of the dusty church and breathed in the crisp autumn air. Galatea had gotten some romantic idea, and thought it would be absolutely fabulous if they could all throw rice and whatnot in the air behind us. I didn't _really_ care, but I didn't exactly know 'til that moment. After a while though, going down the few stairs there were was troublesome with bits of rice falling through the air, and I felt more than a few land in my hair and stay there. When we got to the bottom, we turned around and waved before getting in the first carriage that was lined up, and the last thing I saw before a handful of rice hit my face, and one hit my eye, was Galatea clasping her hands to her mouth. I wasn't sure if she was covering a smirk or a gasp of shock, but I tripped over my hem, and fell down and hit my head on the carriage door, which the doorman had opened ceremoniously.

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"Is she usually this accident prone?" A voice asked. A laugh, or a few, could be heard in reply.

"God be with her, yes. Lor, she couldn't walk down a simple hill a little more than two weeks ago without falling and nearly breaking her neck." A barking kind of laugh was heard. "You best keep a good eye on this'un."

I looked up, and found I could sit up. Nothing was broken, no pain, just a slight throbbing in my head. But I got up, taking in the room around me. It was a grand room; not large, per se, but furnished richly, and the fire blazing warmed me to the heart. This was my new home. I looked around for my husband, and I'd be dammed if I did not find out his name then and there.

I saw him in the corner, talking with Galatea expressively, using his hands to talk, and she had crossed her arms and was shaking her head. He looked up at me and smiled warmly, excusing himself from Galatea's presence and making his way over to the couch I was sitting on. I rose, and we introduced ourselves. Finally.

"Er...hello. I'm Falya."

"Charmed. I'm Tegatus." We stood there a bit uncomfortably. What were we supposed to say? To do?

"You know, this is the first time, since I knew we were getting married, that I heard your name." I blurted. He raised an eyebrow, "Honest!"

He started to laugh. It was a pleasant laugh, and reminded me a lot of Kaspar's. As I thought of it more and more, he looked and acted very much like Kaspar. I understood that facially, they were different, but something, something looked alike, and there was a relative character in them. The hair was exactly the same, the same length, texture, and shine, whatever. But the color, that was the only difference. It struck something in me, and I decided, that if he was anything like Kaspar, then I would like it here very much.

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The party lasted to well through the night, and as all were going to bed, you could see the sun peeking over the horizon line, and people just started coming out in the streets. I collapsed on my new, alas unfamiliar bed, and fell asleep. Tegatus, I assumed, would come later.

The sun was high in the sky when people started to awaken, and I was one of the first to arise. I walked in the kitchen to find Galatea already awake, sitting at the table, and Tegatus standing making tea. They were talking about something I had no idea about, probably something that Gala learned about in that school of hers. She turned towards me and said hello. It was possibly the nicest hello that she had given me, maybe all of her life. I said good morning back, narrowing my eyes at her. I didn't trust this girl. Tegatus turned to see why Galatea had ceased to speak, or my case, ceased to make noise. Same difference.

"Good morning Falya." He said, coming over and giving me a warm embrace. He grasped my hand and led me to the table. I almost laughed at his actions. We were both so tense with each other, but I suppose with time the wall would fade. We sat down, but I quickly got up to make myself a cup of tea. It was a good quality tea, definitely not the kind we had back at home, but kind that seemed expensive to buy. I smiled at the tea; at least, in this aspect of getting married I would not be upset with. I came back to the table and sat down, listening to Tegatus and Galatea resume their argument.

"But he's a dolt! If he knew how to govern, then Dashport wouldn't be in this situation! A fool could know that this year is a bad time to raise taxes, especially for the farmers who make much less than the soft city folk."

"Soft city folk?" Tegatus repeated, a little irate, "We are not soft! You know nothing about the hardships of city life. You know that our taxes are more than yours, because we make more money?"

"No, I didn't. But that also leaves that face of 'you make more money'. You keep a larger percentage of money than we do." They both shrugged, and Tegatus smiled at Gala, and then at me.

"You have such a fighting sister." He said, smiling mischievously. I grimaced.

"You have no idea," I muttered, but I know he heard, and Gala turned red. I didn't like that their situation was more comfortable, and it bothered me, but every so often Tegatus would look over at me, content as a bee in...well, a field of flowers.

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**A/N: I would also like to point out that this was kinda short, like all my other chapters. Anyways, yes there is tension between Tegatus and Falya, mainly because they do not know each other, not that they dislike each other. But Falya and Gala, are not on very good terms and have never been close. So, anyways. Review! -Lorna**


	9. Now Kiss Another

**A/N: New chapter up! I promise, its not too bad, and I didn't go into detain, because honestly, I can't do that too well.**

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The days flew by, and turned into weeks, which in turn turned into months. I was happy, neither of us usually complained, Tegatus being the practical one, didn't complain too much anyways. We'd been married for about five months, I'd been keeping track, and it hadn't faltered too much. We had completely gotten out of our tense moments, and now we were so close, just like Anelise and I used to be. But that was about it. We were just friends, really _good_ friends, but still. This was not a romantic marriage, and not one day goes by where I do not think of my Kaspar, but my affliction with him has decreased, and I don't think on it too much.

We lived in a world of differences, but we were drawn to each other. I even think that we had those kind of crushes on each other that little children used to get; mostly we were very possessive of one another. I loved him, but like a sister would a brother. But there was one thing, not a minor thing either, that would tie us together with a bond stronger than friendship.

I was about to be a mother.

I suppose it was big news; my mother was ecstatic, Gala wouldn't talk to me, and Katerine was over almost everyday. It wasn't so bad for Katerine anymore, Viktor was so nice, she said, and since they moved to our larger village, she was closer. We would talk, and we both noticed that neither one of us had a good bond with Galatea. She was, and had always been, very distant, but it didn't bother either one of us too much. The next few months went by without much event, until the day I found out.

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It was two months before my due date, and I was craving some milk. It was a very inadequate thing to crave, very bland. I waddled over from my room to the kitchen to open the icebox. I stopped when I heard a soft, very delicate voice speaking.

"Oooh Teggy, please stop..." the voice hitched at the word 'please', and was countered with a noise like a hushing, or a quiet hissing. I couldn't really tell. I was intrigued, but my mouth had formed a hard line. I knew that voice. And I called him Teggy first, that was _my_ pet name for him, how _dare_ she steal it. As I walked on, my ear pressed against the wall, I grew angrier and angrier.

She giggled. God, I wanted to smack that pretty little face.

I finally got to the end of the wall, and I had to confront them. I sighed, trying to let some anger out. I walked out, and then closed my eyes to the sight. I opened them afterwards though, how odd would that had seemed, me just standing there with my eyes closed.

Of course, it wasn't anything too bad, Galatea was rested on a chair, her head was tilted back, and her skirt hem was hitched up much to high to be decent, I would say it went up about to halfway up her upper thigh. Teggy's tongue was slowly brushing up and down the length of her leg, and would cause Gala to let out a sigh of contentment. My hatred for her was increasing every moment.

"Ahem." I said, my voice resonating throughout the whole room. The laughing stopped immediately. Tegatus looked up, a look of horror and shame etched on his whole face. He scrambled up, grasping a table corner for assistance, but his hand slipped, possibly wet, with what I don't care to know at all, and hit the ground. In any other instance I would have laughed aloud, Teggy usually being very calm and composed, but in this case he was flustered. He got up, and at least had the decency to look me in the eye, albeit with an extremely shamed look. Gala got up too, but stared at her feet.

I was so angry, I couldn't say anything; I was calm and composed, like Teggy. I smiled at him coldly, not letting the smile reach my eyes. I was so angry, that if this is even possible, I was not angry. I accepted this, that Teggy and I would never love each other, but if he had told me, even mentioned it to me, just once, I would have been fine. But secrets, we _had_ no secrets; we were supposed to be open with each other.

"Well, if this was your choice, you could have told me before burdening me with this." I said, pointing to my large stomach. He winced. Galatea kept looking down at her feet. I smiled again, "Alright then, if you choose to be quiet, that's alright. I'm going to go outside." Tears were welling up in my eyes, and I got that feeling in my throat where you know you are going to cry, but by trying not to, it hurts your throat. I wasn't how to explain it to myself either, but all I knew was that if I didn't get out of that kitchen, I would be a sobbing mess.

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Going outside was like a breath of fresh air, and not just in the literal sense. I finally looked around me, and I was not quite pleased with what I saw. My eyes had been opened, and I couldn't believe I had lived here for about nine months, already given other responsibilities, but there were little trees, almost no bodies of water near the house, no farms. My breathing grew heavy as I made more and more observations; the grass looked sickly, the horses were not proud creatures, rendered to poor beasts carrying carriages, the houses were quite near each other, small gardens, poor people littering the streets. I missed my country side. I missed my stream, my forest, my land, my house, my room, my parents, and most of all, and this hit me hard, I missed Kaspar.

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**A/N: Ok, this is partly filler quality too, and I'm sorry that I switch my style of writing a lot. Thank you for reviewing! And please do!**


	10. Could you repeat that?

**A/N: So sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Life interrupts, and gets in the way of things. Thanks for staying with me thus far! **

**I also noticed, on going back and reading some chapters, that in Chapter 6, I don't know what I was thinking or typing. When Kaspar says "You look fine" that is definitely **_**not**_** the first thing he says. So if you found a problem with that, which I certainly did, then I'm sorry. **

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When life got too overwhelming back at home, I would usually go down by the river and swim or something. But now that I'm surrounded by cobbled streets, houses and noise, I can't do that anymore. But always noise. Even before dawn, there are merchants and traders and mailmen and oh-so-many people up and about, I don't fall asleep until it's too late.

And this baby. God forbid it should be _born_ anytime soon. I can already tell its going to be a lazy baby. It barely even kicks, and when it does, it's just like a measly little push. I can't wait. Really, I can't.

Teggy's not usually home anymore, and I know that Gala is in the midst of this somewhere. But I'm quite over being bitter like old Widow Marcella was, who always cursing her life, her children, god, whoever passed her in the streets...No, I think I'll just bear it, just like I am with this child; slowly.

But I wish I could see Kaspar again. I don't know how many times I've said that again and again, but I know deep, deep, deep down inside of me I'll see him again. But its so hard when I see him in Teggy. They act so alike, but are so different in other ways. Mostly, I don't think that Kaspar would have just gone off with my silly sister.

And again, after thinking these stupid, insipid thoughts, I just go into a state of mind that maman would call depression. I call it hopelessness. Because I know it's hopeless to wish that I could see Kaspar again.

I have slightly forgotten Kaspar's face though, and it pains my heart to imagine it, to even think, that maybe it was a long dream, and that he wasn't real. But I don't like that thought at all. And what hurts more, is that when I do try quite hard to remember his face, and squeeze my eyes shut like it would help, is that I see Teggy's red heir, his freckles and his narrow wonderful nose. And then I start to cry because I know that is not Kaspar.

At all.

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I went to go find Teggy after again imagining Teggy instead of Kaspar. I had a few questions for him, and this would be the first time in a while that I hoped we would speak without fighting. I knew it wasn't really decent for a pregnant 'lady' to be up and about, but with this burden about me, I could just sit around or I'd go plumb crazy.

I walked into the little building where he worked, and I think that he had some work with helping merchants figure out stuff. I wasn't really sure because I never asked him what he did. I just knew it was nothing like farming, or working outside.

"Hello," I said softly, waddling inside the warm room. He looked up smiling, but when he saw me, his face fell a little. I didn't want to think about who he would have rather seen, so I pulled over a chair with an ugly red cushion on it and sat down.

"You can keep working; I just had a few questions," I smiled at him wanly. I'd be dammed if I didn't get an answer out of him. "I'm not here to ask about Gala, ok?" He looked up at the name, and then quickly back down at the sheaf of papers. "What is it exactly that you do here anyways? I have never asked you, and I thought it was odd not to have done so already."

"I help merchants and traders keep track of their money. I tell them whether it is wise to spend money and go on trips or to save it and go next year. Or month. Or whatever they choose."

"Oh. Doesn't sound _too_ complicated," I said softly. The baby kicked, but it was still a bit laggish. He laughed.

"Oh it is surprisingly difficult," I smiled at his laugh. I hadn't heard it in a while.

"Teggy?" I ventured. Lately I hadn't been calling him Teggy. I hadn't been calling him anything.

"Yes Falya?" He looked up for a moment again. I pulled a curl back behind my ear.

"I have a question. Or two."

"Or so I've heard," he smiled, "Continue." I swallowed, slight tears coming up in my eyes. He looked up again, and at seeing my tears he didn't look back down. He laid his pen down and frowned.

"Do you know a Kaspar?"

"What?" he said sharply. I remembered vaguely that back at our wedding he had looked at me funny when I asked if he was Kaspar. But he was laughing then; should he be laughing now?

"I asked because I thought –think actually...that you look a smite like one I knew." He looked at me with wide eyes. I couldn't meet his eyes, I was too sad.

"Well...there _are_ other Kaspars..."

"Maybe. But with piercing green-gray eyes?" Teggy's face blanched, "Oh, I thought not. And with long, dark hair? Skin like golden honey?" I said, my voice getting quieter and dreamier as I spoke. He had paled considerably.

"Why? Do you know someone who looks like this?"

"No Teggy, I am merely describing someone I do not know," I said, my voice a tad irate, "Of _course_ I know someone like this. But I am asking, do you?"

"Why?"

"_Because_," I huffed again, "I think that the one I know looks and acts a bit like you. _Mon dieu..._"

"But...he's...not...he, Kaspar...no...He's not..." he babbled, his words slurring over as the thought seemed to strike home.

"Teggy? Teg, are you alright?"

"Honestly?" I nodded, "No."

"Oh. But why?"

"Kaspar? He was my brother." My mouth dropped open.

"What?" He nodded, again not looking at me. But this time I was intrigued, and I leant forward in earnest. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Where did he go?"

"What are you talking about?" He looked at me with a bemused expression. "Where did he go?"

"Yes, he told me goodbye," I never added that it was in a dream.

"How could he have though? He's –" what was this man talking about.

"Teggy? I saw him last just a few days before our wedding," nothing prepared me for his answer. He hands gripped the table suddenly, and his knuckles turned as white as a cloud. He looked at me blankly; he was shaking so hard, I was afraid.

"You couldn't have."

"Oh yes I could," I said with a harsh conviction. He came back to earth a little. A little.

"No. You couldn't have," he was shaking his head vigorously. He put a hand to my forehead. I think in this case it should have been _me_ checking his forehead for show of fever.

"Well why not?" I crossed my arms over my large belly.

"Because Kaspar...for about four years now..." he trailed off, "Falya...Kaspar –he's dead."


	11. Gods No

**A/N: Whee! Thank you Mystic Tink and Unlikely Rose for reviewing! And for any other who will by next chapter! And of course I have twist up my sleeve. I have a BOX full of twists. Thanks for keeping up with me thus far!**

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"You're crazy Teg."

"No. No I'm not. I went to his funeral! He did die."

"You're mad!" And indeed he looked it. There were little beads of sweat upon his forehead, his hands were clammy, and he was burning hot.

"No, _you_ are Falya, you are," suddenly though, his eyes cleared up and he stood, "I am done with work today. I must show you a place. Come," he held out his hand, "Come," he repeated. As if I hadn't heard the first time.

He called a carriage as I waddled outside right by him. I had a sinking feeling of where we were going, and I started to struggle. A no topper carriage pulled up by us, drawn by two tawny horses with black manes. The carriage was painted an ugly brown color, and was chipped in places. I didn't like it.

"Teg, no, I don't want to go. Please, don't!"

"Come _on_ Falya! We must, or you may never know! At least now you'll believe me," he pleaded.

"NO! Teggy, I won't go! I cannot go!"

The cabbie driving us looked around with a concerned face.

"Sir, are you sure you should be taking your lady anywhere? She doesn't seem like she wants to," Teggy sent him a scathing look that seemed to say 'hush, and turn around.' Just, harsher.

We sat there bumping up and down, being jostled against each other, and altogether not enjoying the first carriage ride we'd had in a while. I minded of course, and my thoughts revolved around the baby and Kaspar. Great.

But Teggy seemed perfectly happy, and I felt his smiling gaze on me more than once. I thought it was odd and I let it go, but I couldn't help wondering if he was happy to be with me, or he was happy taking me to somewhere I did not want to be.

"Aha, madam, we've arrived," I don't really think that the carriage man liked Teggy, so he was addressing me. He opened the door and helped me out, but let Teg just jump out. I don't think he would have wanted help anyways.

With the sinking feeling redoubled, we walked to the leaning gates of the cemetery. He paid the cabbie, but pleaded with him to stay, because no carriage drivers came by here too often.

"Do you know how mean you are?" I hissed to Teggy. I was pretty annoyed at him. He didn't respond, but he wasn't smiling, so I guess before, he wasn't smiling because he was taking me to the cemetery. I was glad, because that would have been sick.

He walked me over to a headstone quietly, tugging on my arm.

"See? He's here," he said glumly, but with a hint of smugness. It was probably because he was proving me right. I shrugged.

I stared at it for a little while. There was already a little trail of moss on one side, and a chip in the center of the letter R. The fast growing weeds were starting to criss-cross the bottom of the stone, and I knelt down, baby or not, and violently pulled them out. I felt some tears well up in my eyes, and I vowed to come back every other day to make his grave more beautiful than the other ones near him. Those were in wrecks, as if no one ever came by to see them. One, I could tell, had recently been dug up, and shoddily put back the dirt in. That would not ever happen to Kaspar's.

"Ok, great. Can we go home now?" I dejectedly asked him as I got up and dusted my arms on the side of my skirt. I think he felt a little bad because instantly he took me back to the carriage.

-----------

"Teggy is a cruel boy, isn't he?" I said to him in a soft voice, but I was smiling. He looked back at me and grinned. We were just sitting on a couch, whiling away an idle day because there was nothing else to do. We would have occasional days like this once in a great while, when Teg wouldn't have work and could stay home. But very rarely.

He'd just come in for a kiss, but at the last minute pulled away. He would do this so many times it would frustrate me, yet it was exciting each time.

"I am, aren't I?" he said after leaning away the latest time.

"Teggy?" I asked while brushing my hand up his soft cheek. I don't quite remember when we reconciled, but I can't help thinking that it was sometimes after the baby was born. That was really painful. Not really the birthing part honestly. For me, that came real easy, but it was after, and finding that my boy, my little baby boy was born dead. I was crushed. I even had a thought to name him Kaspar. I suppose, in that sense, my Kaspar is dead again. But I can't help feeling that its time to move on, even though it breaks my heart to think so.

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?" I think I took him by surprise. He didn't stammer, or look everywhere but my eyes, no. He looked straight into my eyes and really thought about it. Or at least I hope so.

I was totally aware of our conflicting thoughts. He knew that Kaspar was always in the back of my mind and Galatea in his. But they were diminishing slowly, and we hardly spared troublesome thoughts on them; but no one ever said anything about not being able to think about our happier thoughts. But we had grown to something past the comfortable friendship and something more intimate, and it was new and wonderful.

"I think I do," he said finally. I understood, and I smiled.

"I think I love you too."

----

**A/N: Total fluff moment. Ok, so this was mostly filler because I'm wondering where my next fab idea goes. Till next time.**


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